Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Americans Demand Increased Government Protection

NEW YORK—Alarmed by the unhealthy choices they make every day, more and more Americans are calling on the government to enact legislation that will protect them from their own behavior.


The government is finally starting to take some responsibility for the effect my behavior has on others," said New York City resident Alec Haverchuk, 44, who is prohibited by law from smoking in restaurants and bars. "But we have a long way to go. I can still light up on city streets and in the privacy of my own home. I mean, legislators acknowledge that my cigarette smoke could give others cancer, but don't they care about me, too?"

"It's not just about Americans eating too many fries or cracking their skulls open when they fall off their bicycles," said Los Angeles resident Rebecca Burnie, 26. "It's a financial issue, too. I spend all my money on trendy clothes and a nightlife that I can't afford. I'm $23,000 in debt, but the credit-card companies keep letting me spend. It's obscene that the government allows those companies to allow me to do this to myself. Why do I pay my taxes?" 


Go here to read the rest.  Brilliant.  Poster came from here. 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please!! Those "interviews" WERE a joke, weren't they? If those were real, now I really am starting to feel alone.

Maybe we should split the country into two zones:
1) a Gubbment enhanced zone, where everyone who voluntarily chose to live there were protected from themselves as long as they resided there. Those residents would work, but would have no take-home pay, as their entire paycheck would go to the Gubbment to pay for protection within The Zone.

2) a Gubbment-minarchist zone. I'm sure all long-time readers of this site know what that would entail.

B Woodman
III-per

Anonymous said...

D'OH!! I got so wrapped up in the story I didn't see that it was from The Onion.
'Nuff said.

B Woodman
III-per

wv: "djugs" Should be working at Hooters

Nick Rowe said...

Sorry, but I have to agree with some of those Nos and add a few:

No bagpipes...ever
No thong bikinis on fat women
No hippie school teachers
No Asian female drivers
No potato chips on tuna casserole
No frozen lasagna
No Reiki, unless it's free
No Scientology commercials
No giant hand sculptures on a front lawn
No Miracle Whip
No endorsement jersey wo a corporate sponsor
No rap by white people
No socks with Birkenstocks
No Jerry Springer

and subject to slowly being tortured to death:

No "Going Forward"

Cedric Katesby said...

Fortunately the Competitive Enterprise Institute (CEI) has their best people on the job.